This morning Kalani was being a toddler - whiny, clingy, disobedient.
As I was trying to get him out of his pyjama's and into his daytime clothes, he started being a total brat - whining, hitting, flailing his arms all over the place.
What I wanted to do was scream "Would you just stop being such a little sh1t and stay still. AAARRRRRGGGHHHH".
What I did was sing the Australian national anthem in a loud voice.
Unfortunately I only know one verse, so it got quite repetitive. It also got quite loud as I tried to drown out the whines.
But it worked. I didn't lose my temper, though I was very very very close to it. I didn't yell at him, though I was very very very close to it. I just sang. And after a while he stopped wriggling and whining and listened (probably wondering what this awful noise coming out of my mouth was .... he's more used to Dan singing to him than me).
I've tried this once before, in the car when he was screaming 'BISSSSCCCC' (biscuit) over and over again in ever increasing volume from the back seat. Admittedly that turned into more of a 'who can shout/sing louder' match, but I won that round too.
I may have turned Kalani off our national anthem for the rest of his life by doing this, but I think it's a small price to pay for a little sanity and aggression release.